Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
