I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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