did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
