I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
