nut hugger
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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