The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
