"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
