is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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