Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
