So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
