I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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