Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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