i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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