i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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