i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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