I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
