I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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