Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
