I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
