drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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