Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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