Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
