uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
