just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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