Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
