ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
