whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
