They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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