Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
