Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
