i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
