my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
