WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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