and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
