guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
