Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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