I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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