yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
