That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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