Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
