So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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