Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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