You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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