She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
