Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
