C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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