Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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