I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My dick has a subreddit
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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