He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
