I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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