Midget sex pt 2 tonight
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
