So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
