I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
