Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
