he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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