one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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